My 13 year old son is going to make a fine husband one day.
Recently we went back to school shopping. I asked what he wanted/liked – he was indifferent. His patent answer became “just pick something so we can get out of here”. He would rather I go shopping without him and just take care of it all. Translation: his girlfriend/wife will be able to choose whatever clothes she wants for him. Same goes for soap and shampoo – just put it in the shower and he’ll use it (so long as its not girlie – so pick your favorite Old Spice scent).

Last night I asked if he wanted to run to the grocery store with me…
“well do you want me to go with you?”
uhm…do you want to go?
“only if you want me to want to go.”
Well then you’ll go and you’ll be happy about it!
“no, I’ll go but you can’t make me be happy about it.”
Ugh! Yeah I guess that’s true…and yes he did go, and he was helpful, but later he reminded me he wasn’t happy about it!

Now admittedly he is far too literal sometimes. On the first day of school we were talking about how his day was. He said he hadn’t made any friends but he also hadn’t made any enemies. (I love that brand of optimism). I knew he had brought papers home from the teachers, so I asked could he please bring me the ones I needed to sign. And he did – 3 of them. So I signed them and put them in his backpack, only to find several other teacher related notices. When I asked why he hadn’t brought them to me, he said simply because I only asked for the ones to be signed. Well yes, that is true.

If I tell him to find a shirt and shorts that match, he’ll dress in all black because literally, it matches! I didn’t say find something that coordinates or just looks good together. My bad! But it also works for me to help choose his clothes because he’ll pair all the wrong stripes and prints together and could care less – I can’t let him be seen like that! Give him parameters he can follow to the letter – otherwise his interpretation will leave you intensely frustrated. (Flipflops are not shoes! Ok, they are not school-appropriate shoes!)
If you ask him about video games, tv shows, Pokemon, or books he likes, he’s a font of information and can give you all sorts of intriguing details, and he’ll tell you exactly why he likes one thing over another (for instance why the second Percy Jackson book isn’t very good although the movie was great or why the rare shimmering Dialga is better than the ordinary one). But don’t expect that kind of enthusiasm about the daily mundane details of food, clothes, self-care, or even people in general.

He’s great at handling his money, saving for what he wants, and finding creative ways to generate income. If you are foolish enough to borrow from him, he’ll also be very good at reminding you that you owe him a specific sum – at least he hasn’t figured out how to calculate compound interest yet! He remembers dates that are important to him so he’ll never forget his wedding anniversary, but he likely won’t make a production out of it either. If he likes you then he likes you – no confetti/fanfare/PDA required. If he doesn’t, you’re on his ‘mortal enemies’ list for life. I guess I should warn his future wife about that too, since the boy never forgets a slight or a debt and will use all of them against her in the divorce hearing.

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