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As women we want to do it all. The perfectionist in us drives us to be better. The inner critic spurs us on with relentless harping. Sometimes there is only us – no partner, no family, no friends in comfortable helping distance. We think we must maintain everything, every day, 24/7, for self, family, job, and the clerk at the grocery store. We proudly wear our tiara, or big girl panties, or for me the Wonder Woman cape; whatever article of superdom suits us. We can and will get it done. And we do, usually at a high price to ourselves. We get burned out, fed up, angry, filled with self-doubt and even resentful of the world around us. Yet we’ll still smile and wave and keep going, wrapping ourselves so tightly in our efforts to please everyone and do everything that we strangle ourselves with our own glorious capes – or really cute panties if that’s your thing.
Well for heaven’s sake, my fellow heroines—breathe! Stop whatever maddening thing you’re doing and just step back a moment. Strip off those perfectionist glasses and take a look around. There is such a thing as good enough for now. And there is this awesome word called “no”. If that’s too hard its ok to start off with “not now”, or “maybe later”. Then grab a soothing beverage, find a place to sit with no distractions, and just take a moment to be. Take off the crown, the BG panties, or the cape and just be only you for a little while – not mom, or office worker, or social planner, or house keeper, or chauffer, or any of the other titles you don during an average 25 hour day. Yep – it will likely feel weird. When your brain starts drifting to the 30 things waiting, tell it to shut up, then take a sip of your drink and another breath. When the kids come asking for stuff, tell them “not now” and send them on their way. Selfish? Yes. Warranted? Yes! Guilty? No! Because if you don’t take care of you, who will?
Savor ‘you’; know who you are, what you want, what your dreams are and what lies beyond this insanity. The background noise of daily life WILL try to drown you out – its designed that way – it’s a grand conspiracy to make you think you are less than, or not pretty enough, or smart enough, or eating this or cleaning with that will make it all better faster. BS! Yes in caps and in bold! Set that media illusion aside and just be YOU – see your accomplishments, even the smallest ones, as the victories they are. See your toughest times as reminders of your personal strength. Love YOU for the beautiful, intelligent, tenacious caring heart that you are.
Oh yeah, that mountain of to-do will still be there, with bosses, kids and calendars nipping at your heels. But when you stop to see where you are, remember who you are, and get an idea of where you’re going, the momentum shifts and you start to feel driven again, rather than driven over.
So my fellow Women of Wonder and Awesomeness, before you get so wound up in your cape that the tiara pokes you in the eye and you’re walking weird with a wedgy, just take a few minutes to channel the power of NOT NOW, then step out of your own way and breathe. The world can wait. You can’t.