Recently my boyfriend called off our relationship and for reasons I don’t really understand. I get most of it, but not all of it, and so starts the vicious circle in the girl-brain of “was it really me? No it was him! But it could have been me…was it me? No, it was him!” I’ll give this bipolar tilt-o-whirl a few more laps before I shut it down – it’s been awhile since I’ve experienced the commotion and pretty lights swirled together. But ultimately it’s over – despite my feelings on the subject. So after I get dizzy and fall off the carousel of self-recrimination, I’ll move on.
Now, having been through this scenario before I’ve learned that “moving on” comes in many forms. No one way fits every one or every experience. There are times when one needs to take a break, mull over the should’ves and could’ves, make the list of 1000 Things To Do Differently Next Time, then feed themselves on self-improvement and go back into the world a wiser soul. There are the times when we just need to bury our head in the proverbial sand (or vodka bottle) and privately let our broken heart scar over until we can face the days without tears in our eyes. There may also be times when we need to vent a little over our loss; burn the pics of you two together, shred the tshirt that smells like him, and realize the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
Whatever your mode may be, just remember that it’s important to make progress. Slow and steady, healthy and healing, tucking away pieces of the past as you move into the future. Heartaches heal and scars remind us we are stronger for the experience whether we want to be or not.
Or if you aren’t into sage wisdom, just put your big-girl panties on and go look for your next broad-shouldered, bed-rockin’ adventure.
Whatever it takes as long as it works for you. Just keep moving on…